When Gratitude Seems To Be A Luxury

One of my physician coaching clients asked me the other day if I had always been grateful. The answer is no. I used to be grateful only when it was convenient and easy. I was grateful when things went my way. Even though I was taught to be grateful in all circumstances, it was not something I practiced.

When I was at my lowest point in life, the most common emotions were frustration, anger, sadness and helplessness. Operating in the survival mode, getting by one day at a time. I felt stuck at my job, working 50% more hours than my salary’s pay rate. I wanted to maintain that level of financial compensation. Yes, I was taking good care of my patients and I was not enjoying work. All I could focus on was how much time I spent on writing up patient charts and how much I disliked doing them in a format that was convenient to the insurance companies while it became an unnecessary added burden for the physicians who were already doing a very challenging job with patient care.

How could I be grateful with all these? To me, gratitude was something you get to do only when things were going well.

As a physician, are you in a similar situation? Is it possible to be grateful when you are already running on empty, with no physical or mental reserve?

Practicing gratitude is easy when things are going according to your will. In real life, not everything goes according to your desire or your plan. Does this mean that we only get to be grateful for those selective situations?

Practicing gratitude is not a luxury – it is a choice. When you are in the valley, that is when being grateful is the most helpful. When you are physically and mentally exhausted, being grateful shifts your focus to what you have and what you hope for. This is helpful in filling your cup.

Give yourself grace in all circumstances, especially when you are going through hard times. One way to do this is to pretend you are observing yourself as an outsider. Talk to yourself with love and kindness. Acknowledge your feelings and find out why you are feeling those emotions.

Practicing gratitude is the act of appreciating things in your life. Anything. There is no set role. You can be grateful for your hair color. You can be grateful for your date. You can be grateful for your family. Practicing gratitude is not complicated, as you get to choose what to acknowledge and how to acknowledge it. Gratitude may take only several minutes of your time.

If you having trouble looking for things to be grateful for, it is okay. The more you seek, the more you find them. Start with something you take for granted. For example, be grateful for your health, you having a job or your life.

When you are grateful, how does it feel in your body? Pay attention to what you are experiencing in your body: is it warm or cold, is it a stronger sensation in a particular part of your body, is it dynamic or still? The more you practice gratitude, the more you get to feel it in your body.

Be grateful for your past. Look back when you were young, a year ago, or just moments ago. How did your past shape who you are today? What are you grateful for?

Be grateful for your present. Many physicians are not happy with their job situation. I am not 100% happy with my job, yet I choose to be grateful for things I like about it. I am grateful for a relatively steady stream of income. I am grateful for having friendly and helpful staff. I am grateful for my patients always teaching me new things. Think about what you are grateful for in your work.

Be grateful for your future. Yes, the future has not come yet. Be grateful for the opportunity to look into the future. Be grateful for endless opportunities. Be grateful for uncertainties. Be grateful for the opportunity to change lives.

Being grateful for either your past, present or future opens up your mind to hope. Hope for the future, for pleasant opportunities. Being grateful in challenging situations allows you to acknowledge your feelings, appreciate life as it presents, and go forward with an uncertain yet exciting path.