What Doctor-Patient Relationship Do You Enjoy?

“Wow, you talk to your patients about a lot of different things,” Vera commented. This was after I shared with her that three of my patients recommended me places and restaurants to go to in Paris.

As an introvert, a large crowd drains my energy. I prefer to interact with a small group of people. That also allows me to know more about each person. Talking with patients and their families is something I enjoy most of the time. Sure, I do not enjoy every conversation. The part I cherish as a physician is the human connection made while treating patients for their physical illnesses.

It is important to remember and recognize that patients are human beings too. They have individual personalities, different challenges and different priorities. This means that we do not necessarily get along well with everyone, and that is okay. The doctor-patient relationship starts with respect, which goes both ways.

As a physician, be open to what a patient thinks and believes. This may be influenced by their upbringing, their past experience and people around them. If their opinion is vastly different from your understanding of their disease process and management, be kind and explain to the patient what their diagnosis is about and what the treatment plan is recommended.

For an effective and long-lasting doctor-patient relationship, it is important for patients to develop trust in their physicians. This promotes better communication and increases compliance. If the patient does not trust what the doctor is recommending, it is unlikely that the instructions will be followed. The patient will probably find another doctor.

For a long time, I had fairly good relationships with my patients. We had good mutual understanding, and my patients trusted me. However, I was not able to get to know my patients at a deeper level. Other than treating their presenting diagnoses and giving them the confidence that they were part of a trustworthy and empathetic medical team, I was not able to get to know them as people.

The main reason was time, or the lack of time that I believed I had. If I was already spending an extra four or more hours to finish my charts and other administrative work a day, how would I have any time to talk to patients about their families or their interests?

It goes back to what I want life to be like. As a physician, I envision myself to have time to take great care of patients, get to know them and their families and have quality time with my family. Since charting was the biggest challenge that obstructed the doctor-patient relationship I wanted, I took steps to work on it. As I was not able to find a way myself, I asked for help from a physician life coach. Really wished I knew about coaching a lot sooner!

Now that I am seeing time differently and am able to see all my patients and leave work by 5 pm, there is actually more time to chat with my patients. I still do not understand fully about efficiency and the physics of relativity. Somehow, I accomplish more in less time.

I enjoy taking care of my patients. Being a physician is unique that you get to meet different people and cultivate the kind of relationship you want to develop. My favorite kind of doctor-patient relationship is one that is trusting, caring and effective. Of course, the recommended treatment plan is as close to the established guidelines as possible – as patients do not follow the textbook presentation most of the time, it is difficult to follow all the standard recommendations all the time.

As a physician, what kind of doctor-patient relationship do you enjoy? Are you having that kind of relationship with your patients now? If not, why? Is there something you can do about it?