What Do You Want In Life?

“What do you want to have for lunch?” I asked my daughter the other day.

“I don’t know what I can have,” she answered.

I replied, “Do not think of the possible limitations. If you can have anything you want to eat, what is that going to be?”

She finally answered, “Pepperoni or mushroom pizza.”

One of my patients sees me for a hematologic issue. We were chatting about her weight. Curious, I asked her what her ideal weight would be. She answered that she could lose 20 pounds. I asked her, without thinking about what she could or could not do, what her ideal weight would be? Her answer was 140 lb, which was going to be a 50-lb weight loss.

Do you really know what you want in life?

It is possible that you knew what you wanted at some point, and somehow that desire was suppressed from an arbitrary limit you set for yourself. That limit seems to be real, so real that you can almost touch it. You unknowingly limit yourself and decrease the acknowledgement of your true desire.

Imagine there are no limits – what do you really want in life?

What brings you joy?

What gives you purpose?

What kind of relationships do you long for?

What do you want your health to look like?

If you can have anything you want or any way you want things, how would it look like?

It is also helpful to recognize what you do not want.

When you have a clear idea of what you truly want and not want, then you can examine your life. Are you living your ideal life? If not, what is stopping you from achieving it?

If you are not living your ideal life (yet), you are getting there – if you want to. Once you have a clear vision of what your desires are and what your goals are, go backwards and figure out what your plan will be to achieve those things. The WHY that is compelling enough to motivate you. The WHY that gives you the emotions you desire when you achieve them.

For example, as a physician, you want to take great care of your patients. You also want to go home on time. Ask yourself why you want to take great care of your patients – you may think that because it is your duty. As a physician, sure, you are supposed to do your best to care for your patients, and you can also choose not to. Or you can choose not to take care of patients at all. You want to take great care of your patients probably because that is in alignment with your values, and probably because that brings you joy.

Why do you want to go home on time from work? Ask yourself this question. Possibly to spend more time with your family, or to have your own time, or simply to have time outside of medicine. No matter what your answer is, understand the reason behind your desires.

Another check to find out what you really want is to ask yourself how you would feel if you achieve the things you want in life. What kind of emotions do you desire the most?

In the hustle and bustle of everyday routine and to-do lists, take a step back to examine your life. Are you happy with what you have now? Is what you are doing and where you are at steering you toward where you want to be?

What do you want to feel?

Based on what you want your life to be, and not what others want for you – what is your next step? It is okay to not have 100% clear vision of your ideal future and have a somewhat blurry idea. Sometimes, the more you work toward that direction, the clearer your vision gets.

Have the desire to go for what you want. Do not think about the HOW. If your desire is strong enough, you will find a way to achieve it. The road may not be straight forward and you may be set back multiple times – do not let that stop you from going for what you want.