The Five Secrets to Give Yourself Grace

How often do you beat yourself up when something did not turn out the way you intended it to be? For most of us, we are our own worst critic. You have high expectations. You push yourself hard. You think that by being tough on yourself is the best way to move forward. You think of others far more than yourself. You end up being mean to yourself.

When you are mean to yourself, you tend to question your self-worth. You are not thinking highly of yourself. You are thinking that you are not good enough. Your self-esteem is negatively affected. When you carry your day with decreased self-worth and self-esteem, it is easy to feel deflated. It is easier for you to feel frustrated, exhausted, stressed and overwhelmed.

Giving yourself grace lets you feel more connected to yourself and to other people. It is about how you talk to yourself. When you are loving yourself, you show yourself kindness. You want to learn more about what you are thinking and feeling. In turn, it is easier for you to bond with other people in a similar way.

Allowing grace to yourself gives you permission to do it messy. You are not perfect. No one is. Allowing yourself to do your best without the restraint of being perfect decreases much stress in life. There is always the opportunity to learn and grow from our experiences.

When you give yourself grace, you also give room to your day to run smoother. You are more flexible about your schedule. You are less likely to control what you cannot change. You also get to spend more time in the pleasant emotions.

Giving yourself grace also helps you to be more efficient. It is easier to be light-hearted about certain situations. It is also easier for you to have a clear mind to think things through and to figure things out. You are less likely to be overwhelmed.

The first step to giving yourself grace is talk to yourself kindly and lovingly. Gain the awareness of how you are talking to yourself. What tone of a voice are you using? What words are you using? You may have been talking to yourself in a mean way for as long as you can remember. Awareness is the first step. You have the power to change how you talk to yourself. Imagine how you would talk to a person you love and think highly of. You would talk to that person with respect and kindness. That is how you practice talking to yourself.

The second step is to allow imperfection. Doing your best does not necessarily mean perfect, and that is okay. You let yourself gain a learning experience and grow from it. Complete and better (and definitely more possible) than perfect.

The third step is to let go of comparitis. It is easy to compare yourself to others who seem to be at a better position than you are. Comparing tends to open up your mind to look down on yourself. Comparing also gets you trap into thinking you are not where you are supposed to be. Comparing is only helpful when you are gaining a positive feedback from that comparison and giving yourself grace, letting yourself know to keep at it, you will get to where you want to be.

The fourth step is to allow yourself to say No. No is complete in itself.  Oftentimes you do not have to explain why your answer is no. It is a No when something is out of alignment with your values. It is a no to more work when you are feeling exhausted and drained. It is a no when someone is violating your boundaries.

The fifth step is to practice gratitude. Especially in a day that is full of things seemingly not going your way, seek for something you are grateful for. You are allowing yourself to feel better and shift your focus from the unpleasant emotions.

Giving yourself grace is always available to you. You get to choose to practice it every day, as often as you like. This allows you to readily forgive yourself, to take care of yourself, to respect and love yourself. By giving yourself grace, you are less likely to experience burnout. You get to be more present. You get to have better connection with other people. You get to be more efficient at work. Are you ready to give yourself more grace every day?