The Cost Of Being Modest

Certain childhood memories are deeply carved in my brain. I was taught to be humble by example. Modesty was considered a virtue to be upheld at all times. There were so many instances as I was growing up, when friends would offer a compliment to my Mother that I was well-behaved and quiet. The next thing that came out of my Mom’s mouth would be something like, “Oh, she could be more conversational”, or “Oh, she’s just too shy”. Instead of receiving the compliments, Mom would nicely brush them off.

All these years, I thought this was the right thing to do. I believed that, to be humble was not to acknowledge other people’s praises or appreciation. It always involved a nice way to let the other party know that their appreciation was incorrect. I thought this was the way to be respectful. In other words, to receive compliments with open arms equaled being arrogant and egotistic. The indirect boasting from receiving someone’s acclamation was not acceptable in my book of life.

I have been examining the relationship between modesty and arrogance. There is something else that comes into play. By not embracing any mark of commendation or honor, I am stripping myself off of the great opportunity to feel good about myself. The act of ignoring the praise is a reflection of my binary way of thinking. Being humble equals not accepting the compliment; accepting any compliment equals being arrogant, as this is telling the other party that whatever is the appreciation is true.

The more I think about it, the more I believe there is a happy medium. We can acknowledge a compliment without being boastful at the same time. It is possible to have great joy without bragging.

When someone expresses admiration, it is alright to accept the other person’s recognition. Pause and acknowledge the compliment. Appreciate what the other person’s praise is about. Experience it in our body. How does that feel? Where does that feel in our body? What sensation? What temperature? Notice and trace the energy flow within. This is a positive fuel that makes us feel good, thankful, uplifted, among other marvelous feelings.

By dismissing a compliment, we are also implying that we are not good or worthy enough to receive such compliment. For the longest time, this has been me. I even call a halt to myself for offering affirmation to myself. Wow, self-worth down the bottomless pit. That certainly affects self-confidence too.

I invite all of you to take any remarks of appreciation graciously. Acknowledge the praise, appreciate the fact that someone is expressing adoration, and experience the positive energy vibrations throughout our body. We get to decide and choose to feel accomplished, uplifted and thankful.