Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Before the airplane takes off, there is always an announcement or a short video about safety. We learn where the exits are, when to stow the tray and luggage. We are also instructed that, in the event of an emergency, and the oxygen masks fall off from the ceiling, we are to put the masks on ourselves before helping others.

If we don’t have enough oxygen to breathe, how are we supposed to help others the best way that we can?

If we don’t take good care of ourselves, how are we supposed to provide the best care for others?

The years of medical training have distant many of us from taking care of ourselves, or even thinking about taking care of ourselves. The notion of patients as our first priority is engrained in our every cell, in our very being.

Self-care was a foreign concept to me. When I heard the term self-care, I was thinking, that’s nonsense. I don’t have time to care about me. I have to take care of my patients. I have time to die but no time to get sick. Lunch is overrated; I can push through the day by skipping lunch time. I will go to the bathroom right before my bladder bursts or I have an accident.

It is hard to give what you don’t have.

If I don’t have compassion toward myself, how am I supposed to be filled with compassion for others?

As a hematologist and oncologist, I would like to share about anemia, iron deficiency anemia in particular. If you are anemic, and have no iron stores in your body, no matter how active your bone marrow is, and how ready it is to manufacture red blood cells, the bone marrow cannot. Iron is one of the main ingredients to make red blood cells. If the main ingredient is lacking, it is impossible to have a desired finished product. The body ends up having less red blood cells, and they are smaller and in different shapes.

It is hard (or even impossible) to make what you don’t have.

If I run on an empty tank, how am I supposed to move forward? That is certainly a set up for burnout physically and emotionally.

I started to take care of myself, because I choose to have my best self to take care of others to the best of my ability. It is alright to take a small break to have lunch. It is alright to go to the bathroom when nature calls. It is alright to pause and reflect if that is what is needed to feel refreshed, to refill your tank.

Self-care is not selfish. Take care of yourself as you would take care of your loved ones. Concentrate on your own well-being is not narcissistic. It is essential. Love yourself. Have compassion toward yourself. Speak kindly to yourself.

We are trained to take great care of others. Let us use that skill to take care of ourselves. Let us normalize self-care and have a more balanced and fulfilling life by always keeping our own tanks full of love, compassion, joy and content. In turn, we will always be ready to fill other people’s tank with the same fuel.