Replace Your “I cannot” Sentences For A More Amazing Life

Whenever I ask my daughter to do laundry, which involves bringing the basket of dirty clothes from the second floor to the basement and pressing a few buttons on the washing machine, she says “I cannot do it. It is too hard.” She is a teenager.

In reality, it is not that she is incapable of doing the laundry; it is just not her priority and she prefers not to do it.

When you say “I cannot”, you make yourself believe that you are incapable of doing something, without questioning if it is true. I cannot prepare a delicious meal. I cannot run ten miles. I cannot finish my patient charts and go home on time.

“I cannot” makes it definitive. It is as if what you cannot do is final. To make your “I cannot” statements less permanent, adding the three-letter word “yet” is helpful. I cannot cook well yet. I cannot play that song yet. I cannot leave work on time yet.

Adding “yet” is a very good first step. It implies that it is possible that you CAN do that thing in the future. There is hope. It is not helpful to only stay at this stage with a glimmer of hope. To change the situation of “I cannot” do something “yet” to “I can” do it, it takes more than just hoping for the transition. Hope leads to action. Before the action, it is essential to believe in the possibility of accomplishing the very thing you do not think you can.

Instead of saying “I cannot”, think “let me see how I can make this happen”. Yes, you have not achieved what you want to accomplish yet. Yes, it does not mean that all of a sudden you have the power to complete your goal. By starting to think with “let me see”, it releases your curiosity instead of being shut down by the belief of inability. When you are curious, you are more willing to explore different things. There are probably hundreds of ways to achieve your goal but most of those ideas are not available to you when you believe that you cannot do it. “Let me see” opens possibilities. Those three words together let you explore different ideas and methods. They expand your imagination. You may even come up with ideas which seem outrageous (but not impossible). The more you execute those different ideas, the more likely you will find a way that works for you.

As I was thinking back on my journey from spending many extra long hours to finish my charts to leaving by 5 pm after seeing on average twenty-five patients, the first step was to believe. Believe that I could gain back two to three hours a day by somehow being more efficient. That belief was a start, but not enough to make it a reality. Then I decided to retire the belief of “I cannot”. “Let me see how I can be more efficient at work.” That started a series of trying different things, being creative about how I do things at work, and asking for help.

How you frame your situation affects how you feel about it and how you act. The change of a few words in a sentence changes everything. Let me see how you can do it too!