Permission Not To Do It All

You are a physician, a parent, a caretaker, a chauffeur (for your kids). You are all different roles in one body. You are doing many different things. This does not mean you have to do everything.

Your belief may tell you otherwise. You may think that you have to do everything at work and at home. You may think that it is your responsibility to do it all. You may think that you do it all by sacrificing yourself – less sleep, more hours of work, squeeze out 2% more of your 100% effort somehow.

You do not have to do it all. The only person you need to ask for permission not to do it all is you.

Ask yourself why you think you have to do it all. Is it out of obligation? Is it out of guilt? Or are you choosing to? For any of these options, what happens when you cannot do it all? What do you think of yourself, and how do you feel?

Give yourself grace. You are human and you are not perfect. And that is okay. You are doing your best. Your best is ever changing because, if you choose to, you are learning and growing every day. You are doing things a little better every day. You are creative. You find ways to do things better and more efficiently.

Prioritize and put things to do on your hourly calendar. This is a more realistic representation of what you can physically handle in a day.

When you are at work, understand what your duties are. Know what you can delegate, because team work is more effective and efficient.

When you are in the home front, examine what is important to you and see what can be fit into your schedule. If you cannot attend your child’s sports game 100% of the time, it is okay. You are doing your best. If you cannot prepare dinner for your family some nights, it is okay. It is more important to make sure everyone is fed. If going to the games is important to you, plan ahead and see how many games you can fit into your schedule. If you enjoy cooking for your family, check your weekly schedule to see where you can fit preparing a meal.

When it comes to spending time with your children, focus on quality over quantity. Focus on what you want to teach them. Show them how you want them to be by example. What you do and how you do things are being observed and learned by your children every day.

When you let go of having to do it all, you will feel less stressed. You get to be more present at work and with your family for everything you do.

Besides giving yourself the permission of not doing it all, allowing yourself to be grateful is just as important. Be grateful at work. Maybe it is great team work, or a patient with appreciation. Be grateful outside of work. Maybe it is the opportunity to show up at your kid’s basketball game even though you are half an hour late. Maybe it is your spouse doing the dishes.

What you can do is different from what someone else can do at work and at home, and that is okay. You do not have to compare yourself with anyone. You be you. You do your best. You do what is needed, choose what you want to do. You celebrate what is going well and reflect on what you can improve. You give yourself grace and celebrate you.