Mirror Mirror, Who Do You See?

The Covid-19 pandemic has changed a lot in our lives. We have become accustomed to wearing masks, getting tested for Covid-19 infection with the slightest hint of sore throat, working from home, video calls, and many more things.

The pandemic has shaped me differently. Literally. Besides having transformed in my mind with coaching, the pandemic has also reshaped my face. With constant wearing of an N95 mask at work, my nose has developed a notch, and my cheeks have semi-permanent lines which outline the shape of the tight-fit mask. Those new cheek lines are most prominent when I smile. They may become permanent if I continue to wear an N95 mask almost every day.

I look at myself at the mirror. This is who I am. Being transformed inside and outside. I do not think I look beautiful in the normal standards in society, but I accept how I look. I have no problem going out or meeting people without any makeup. I am happy with my features, as they are a gift from God. There are more and more not-so-subtle clues of aging on my face. As much as I want to look like the way I did in my 20s, I have no problem and I do not feel inferior if I cannot turn back time with a time machine.

A friend was talking to me about having fillers injected in her face. Let us call her Rachel. Rachel does not really like how she looks. She decided to have fillers injected to smoothen out some angular contours on her face. She does not like to look at herself in the mirror, because she is somewhat disgusted with the way that she looks.

I asked her, “Do you love yourself?” Rachel promptly replied “No”. She reports to have a sense of dissatisfaction, or even disgust, when she looks herself in the mirror.

“Do the filler injections make you feel better about how you look?” I inquired.

It is not my place to judge people if they decide to have any procedures to enhance how they look, either with a knife or with some needles. After all, using makeup is also a means to enhance our features, only that is the least invasive way to do so.

Is it possible to love how you look by altering your appearance if you don’t love yourself in the first place? In other words, can relying on external factors truly make you feel good about how you look?

I think it is important to think that you are good the way you are. As a whole person, your personality, your capabilities, your relationships, your looks. Accept your brown eyes, or tall nose, or puffy cheeks just as they are gifted to you. Acceptance does not equate to not doing anything. You get to decide if you want to enhance any feature on your face with whatever method you pick. No matter what you decide to do or not do with your face, connect with the person on the other side of the mirror.

There is probably disconnect between you and your reflection if the first thing that comes to mind when you see yourself is “Ugh”. “Ugh” is a thought. A thought in the flavor of disgust or rejection. A thought that you probably do not have about your close friend.

How about finding connection with yourself? Connect with acceptance no matter what. We do not have to look perfect. We do not have to be the most beautiful person in the eyes of the society. Yet we can have complete acceptance of who we are and what features we are given. By having total acceptance of yourself, you get to move forward in the present. You get to have even more amazing connections with other people and the world, instead of spending time to neglect and reject you.