Listen To Your Body

Out of my attending career, other than maternity leave, I called out sick twice. Both times were because of some gastrointestinal problems. I did not expect to call out a third time.

It was my hospital week’s duty. The rotation started on a Saturday for seven days. Inpatient consult service for hematology and oncology is busy and unpredictable. I used the weekend to learn about the patients, getting ready for Monday.

Monday went by relatively smoothly. I took care of the established patients and evaluated a few new patients. I left the hospital by 5 pm. Had a coaching session then another Zoom meeting at night. Toward the end of that meeting, I started to feel uneasy, physically. My stomach was cramping and making knots. As I was standing up, there was this sensation that I wanted to throw up. Since when I have had nausea like this – not even when I was pregnant. Maybe sleeping earlier would make it go away. As I was washing up, the light-headed feeling crept in. Oh no, it was coming. Watery diarrhea. Was it the food I ate earlier with my family? No one else felt ill at home. I did not eat anything out of the ordinary. When I thought the diarrheal episode was done, the nausea was more intense. I went back to the toilet with my head aimed in the bowl. Wretched a couple times and projectile vomit came out. It was mostly watery. It was as if a sewer pipe was open wide. Before I could believe that volume came out of my stomach, my forearms and lower legs were numb. I knew exactly what that meant – I had to position myself flat so that I would not pass out.

I quickly rinsed my mouth and went to bed. Restless, just did not feel right. Shortly after, I made it back to the bathroom just in time to have another bout of diarrhea. I called my husband for help. As I was about to throw up, he handed me a trash bin. Vomiting was so powerful and I was so weak that I did not exactly aim at the trash bin. It was messy. I was about to pass out. My husband was so gracious to clean me up and clean up the mess on the floor. I could not make it back to the bed. I did not want to go back to bed, in case I had to throw up again.

The bathroom floor was hard and uncomfortable. My husband brought me a blow-up mattress. I was freezing. He must have put at least seven towels to cover me, along with 2 blankets. After a while, I was finally able to feel my extremities. Barely dozing off, at least I did not have more episodes of diarrhea or vomiting.

It was 6:10 am and my alarm went off. I was thinking about going to work, because I planned to work the week and I did not want to burden any of my coworkers to cover me. Then I realized how weak I felt. I attempted to sit up and I felt lightheaded. Hospital rounds require me to walk around the hospital. There was no way I could do that without passing out and a code for the medical team being called for me. I called my office manager about my situation. Thankfully our new doctor who started a few weeks ago could cover me in the hospital.

I was strong enough to take a quick shower and went to bed, my own bed. The whole Tuesday was spent there, sleeping on and off, in between sipping Gatorade and water. Whenever I tried to sit up in bed, I felt lightheaded.  A saltine cracker was too much for me to chew and swallow. My plan was to resume working the following day. That evening, I was able to tolerate four boiled dumplings. My decision was to take one more day off to recover.

I am glad I listen to my body. We often take our health for granted, until we are sick. That feeling of numbness, about to pass out, the cramping, the pain – all were temporary for me. For many patients, especially my oncology patients, similar experiences may happen to them on and off on a regular basis.

Health is very important. Without physical health, we cannot function properly. We cannot have good analytical thinking because we are preoccupied by how we feel. Without mental health, it is also difficult to function and perform well.

Listen to what our body is telling us. If your body is telling you to rest, respect the request. Even though you have obligations and you feel responsible to do the work yourself, it is more responsible for you to take care of your own health first. Remember that self-care is not selfish. It is essential. You need to have good health, physically and mentally, to take care of other people. When you are not well, you cannot perform at your optimal state. You may even become a patient yourself.