Limiting Mind

Sydney enjoys swimming. She is part of a swim club. She enjoys the exercise and made some friends there. She wants to do well in things she participates in, but never with a competitive mentality. We talked about how she seemed to be swimming leisurely in a swim meet. Some kids you can just tell that they want to win, so they swim aggressively. Their arms move fast and they hit the water harder.

There does not seem to be a sense of urgency in Sydney. She expresses that she wants to do well and wants to win. At the same time, she is relatively relaxed about it. We talked about this from time to time. I do not wish to pose too much pressure on her to be the best, but at the same time, I believe that it is her own mind that is limiting her potential. If she thinks that she is not going to be faster, then she is probably already somewhat defeated, lacking self-confidence. She may subconsciously try to find evidence to prove that she cannot swim as well as expected. As a result, she is most likely going to swim slower.

As her mother, I naturally want the best for her, for everything. I want her to feel good about herself. I want her to have self-confidence and self-compassion. I want her to demonstrate what is possible. No one can change what she thinks but herself. I can only guide her along the way. I do my best to understand what she thinks affects her feelings. We do or not do certain things because of the way we feel. Since there is always more than one way to think of a certain situation, it is important to realize what or opinion is on a subject matter, and how it affects our emotions.

Sydney will be swimming her last race as a 12-year-old. I love her no matter how she does. I hope she will believe that she can do better and feel confident, determined and full of positive energy. I hope she will get her personal best. We also talk about that the results are to show herself what is possible, and see what our mind can do for us.