Leveraging Emotions To Enhance Efficiency

Dr. G shared with me in our coaching session that she had a bad start to her day, which made the rest of her day miserable. Just like many other physicians, Dr. G requested to join my coaching program so that she could be more efficient and spend more time with her family.

When she wanted time with her family, she meant time with calm and peace. When she was interrupted with her young children’s temper tantrum while getting ready for work, she felt upset. She felt upset because she envisioned her children to be obedient and not wailing for some snack that was not healthy to have as breakfast.

Has something similar happened to you before? Something does not go according to what you expect. That upsets you and affects how you work. You have trouble with focus and concentration, because you are thinking how that incident should not have happened. When you are upset, your mind is naturally coming up with more things you are upset about, in the past and in the present. Every move you make is a potential trigger for you to feel more upset. What other people say or do may also upset you easily. The whole day you feel triggered while you are trying to focus. It is not going well because you cannot focus well, you are finding yourself in a negative space and you are even more annoyed.

Our emotions are not directly caused by any situations. If Dr. G did not know about the tantrum her children were throwing, that situation would not have affected her at all. It only affected her because she knew about it and she had an opinion about it. She thought that they should not be throwing a tantrum early in the morning.

It is because of how we think that affects our emotions. There are many ways to think of the same situation. Each thought generates a different emotion. How we act is directly affected by how we feel. Would you rather feel frustrated and upset or other more pleasant emotions, such as calm and grateful?

I am not saying to eliminate your unpleasant emotions. As human beings, we are meant to experience the whole spectrum of emotions, and we can choose to feel more pleasant ones by choosing how we think.

For Dr. G, the situation was that in the morning while she was getting ready for work, her children started yelling and demanding to have candy. She felt upset because she thought that her children should not be yelling and screaming in the morning when she wanted to spend some quality time with the family. That upset feeling was with her for the rest of the day because she kept thinking about the same thought – they should not have thrown a tantrum.

I invited Dr. G to be open to thinking of the situation in different ways. They are children, and children can be unpredictable. We cannot control what they do or how they act. What if Dr. G thinks, of course they are having a tantrum, that is what kids do. That generates a more neutral emotion. Tantrums are not pleasant, yet they are common among young children. Oh, it is just another temper tantrum. When you think this, you are not making the episode a big deal.

Realizing that it is your opinion about a situation that affects your emotion and in turn, the way you act, is powerful. This means that if you are mindful of your thoughts, you can choose the perspective that generates more neutral or pleasant feelings.

When you feel calm, or other pleasant emotions, you have better focus. You are more decisive to choose, which means that you are taking less time to think about your choices. You are also less likely to be distracted than when you are experiencing negative emotions. You are having less conflict within you. You focus more on appreciation rather than complaints. All these elevate your emotional well-being and your efficiency at work.

It is empowering to know that we can have different perspectives on a situation and each perspective affects how we feel differently. We have the power to change how we feel by choosing how we think. If you want to experience more pleasant emotions, choose a perspective that allows you to feel that way. When you are in a neutral or pleasant state (as opposed to a negative emotional state), you can focus better, you can make faster and better decisions, you appreciate the good more rather than complaining whatever is not up to your expectations. Be open to explore different opinions in any given situation. The more you do this, the more you are ready to choose a helpful thought. You will be more efficient because of the pleasant fuel you are utilizing that is generated by that thought.