Let It Go: Shedding the Weight of Perfection and People-Pleasing in Medicine

Dr. G shared in our coaching session that she felt lighter in the past week because she was letting things go and letting things be.

Dr. G is a fairly new attending physician. Besides seeing patients in her clinic, she does specialty consultations in the hospital. Before we met, Dr. G was spending at least three to four extra hours to finish her notes. She used to do extensive research online when she evaluated a new patient. In her initial consultation note, besides, including her main assessment and plan, she would include detailed information on the research studies which backed up her recommendation. She would read and revise her notes several times to make sure they look “perfect”. She wanted each consulting note to be presentable. She wanted to make sure that people who read her notes would think that she knew what she was doing.

As we were diving deeper into her clinical day and documentation challenges, it opened her eyes to discover that she was carrying two very big boulders on her shoulders which were weighing her down mentally and slowing her down.

The first boulder was the need to be perfect. As she realized that, because she finished her subspecialty fellowship not too long ago, she believed that she was not as good as some other more seasoned attending physicians. As a result, she attempted to compensate for her “inadequacy” by looking more intellectual, at least electronically. She quoted representative clinical trials in her note. She made sure she did not miss any spelling or grammatical mistakes. It was as if she was handing in an English class essay each time she did a consult.

We explored why we documented our patient encounters. What was the purpose? Patient documentation serves as a means to record your findings and management plan of a patient, so that you can be reminded about it later. That document can also serve as a tool to communicate with other clinicians about the patient. It is also a record of your service for reimbursement. In other words, if the consult note satisfies these things, the note is good enough. And good enough is good enough. The note does not have to be perfect. It is impossible for a note to be perfect – and who decides if the note is good or not? Letting go of having to write the perfect note each time has lightened Dr. G’s burden.

The second boulder was caring about how other people think of Dr. G. Dr. G was so focused on what others think of her notes and her as a person that she thought by writing more detailed notes, by spending more time to revise her patient notes, other clinicians would think that she was a consultant to be trusted. That she was someone reliable and good at doing her job.

I asked Dr. G if we have the power to control what other people think. We may do things to influence other people’s opinions, but ultimately, each individual gets to decide what to think and how to think about a situation. Since we cannot control other people’s opinions, it is not helpful to put others’ perspectives in front of our own. No matter how good we are at our job, some people are going to think highly of you, and some people are going to despise you. I am not saying to ignore the opinions of other people. It is important to acknowledge that each person has the right to think differently, and we do not have the power to control what they think. We can control how we react to the situation and to their opinions.

Realizing the power of letting go of others’ opinions is a liberating feeling. Just let them be. Let other people think what they want to think.

By letting those two big boulders roll off her shoulders, Dr. G is able to feel lighter and finish her notes faster. Patient notes do not have to be perfect. It is impossible for them to be perfect and that is okay. As long as the patient chart carries the pertinent information, it is good enough. No matter how hard you try, you cannot control what another person thinks or feels, and that is okay. Let them be. Your focus is to write an informative and insightful note efficiently.

Do you have similar boulders you are carrying wherever you go? It is time to let them go. Tap into your why. Look into the purpose of what you do. When you let go of being perfect, when you let go of what someone else may think while you focus on doing your best, you will feel lighter. You will feel less stressed. You will be more efficient.