Knowing When to Say No as Physicians

Most clinical physicians are leading busy lives, managing at work and taking care of their families. We are all human beings and we are not perfect. As much as you believe that you can do it all, it is not possible to say yes to everything.

You have the option and the ability to say Yes or No to many situations. It is a learning process with some exploration in mind to decide what the best decision is for you, at this moment. Yes and No are like two opposites which swing in a pendulum. When you say Yes to something, you are saying No to something else.

For example, if you say Yes to working an extra shift, you are saying No to spending time with your family during that shift. Like most things in the world, too much of something is not beneficial to your well-being. It is best to have a fine balance and explore when to say Yes or No. That decision is based on your own experience and self-care.

Why do you have the tendency to say Yes most of the time?

You may find it hard to say No, so the default is to say Yes, even when you are not in the “of course, 100% yes” mode. In a work situation, you avoid saying No possibly because you are afraid to upset your superior. Or you think you should be doing the task, even though it is outside of your assigned duty. You do not want to disappoint others.

You may feel guilty for saying No, even though that is your desire. You feel responsible for other people’s feelings. You believe that by saying No, you are causing someone else’s upset or anger. Your desire to please others may be so great that, even though it is a No for you, you end up saying Yes.

Saying Yes more than what you want will cause you to be overworked. The more you say Yes to doing extra work, the more other people will ask you to do more. When you are focusing mainly on not disappointing others, you may end up having difficulty in committing to all that you say Yes to. You are likely stretched out to be too thin. You are barely surviving and may break anytime. You may also be doing things outside of the alignment with your values. You end up having no balance in life. Taking care of yourself becomes a fleeting thought that is overshadowed by the obligation to work until you are broken.

On the other hand, when you say No most of the time, you are missing out opportunities – opportunities to learn, to grow, or to discover your potential. Saying No may sometimes be an excuse for procrastination, to avoid taking your responsibility. You may be using No to hide, to hide from doing something uncomfortable – that thing which would probably help you get closer to your goal.

Saying Yes or No is sometimes a straightforward and no-brainer response, and sometimes it is challenging because you are considering the best win-win situation when there is a give-and-take outcome. It is helpful to keep things simple and try not to think of them as complicated.

Before you answer Yes or No, consider these questions:

1. Is it in alignment with your values?
2. Do you have the time commitment to handle it?
3. Are you saying Yes because you do not want to disappoint others rather than because you want to for yourself?
4. If you decide to say No, what is an alternative solution (other than saying Yes)?

As you have probably heard this before, No is a complete sentence. If you are acting with integrity, if you have considered all the pros and cons, if you have considered things from other people’s point of view without using that as the main reason of your final decision, then it will be clear to you what your answer is.