It's OK To Feel Bad

At a young age, we learn about our feelings. We expanded from satisfied or yearning for more as babies to gradually a spectrum of emotions. We learn that there are things that make us happy, sad, excited, bored, and many other emotions. What most of us are not taught is that our feelings are stemmed from our thoughts. What and how we think about a particular situation affects how we feel.

Some people believe that we are supposed to feel good, or have positive emotions all the time. Some examples of positive emotions are happy, content, gratitude, focused, and encouraged. That seems to be more than nice when we do not get to feel the bad or negative emotions. Some examples of negative emotions are anger, stressed, frustration, fear, and loneliness.

If we do not experience any negative emotions, then how do we know that the positive emotions are good? Will we even know what “positive emotions” are?

To be able to experience all kinds of emotions is a human characteristic. It is a gift. When we experience the negative emotions, and when we allow them, we expand the horizon of our ability to feel. Having emotions and the ability to feel them makes us human.

Life is full of adventures, surprises and emotions. There are times when we will feel good and times we will feel bad. When you are in the cycle of experiencing a negative emotion, do not avoid it or push it away. Examine closely. Why are you feeling bad? What are you thinking that is causing you to feel what you are feeling?

For example, a close family member had stage 4 cancer, in his terminal stage. He was under the care of home hospice and was gradually deteriorating. Several days later, he passed away. You feel sad because you miss him. You feel angry because you think that he left this world way too soon. You feel frustrated because you think that there is nothing you can do to help the situation. These are some possible emotions you may experience.

Acknowledge your thoughts and your feelings. Sometimes you may need some alone time to process them. When you feel sad, how does that feel in your body? Where in your body do you experience the most intense feeling? Is there a temperature associated with it (hot or cold)? Is it fluid or stagnant sensation? Does it feel open or close? These are some suggestions to experience and process your negative emotion. Take as much time as you need to stay in this phase of processing. It may take longer than expected at times, or it may be fairly quick. Take as long as you need and do not rush it, wishing that the bad feelings would just disappear. Even though it does not feel pleasant, you will come to a point of completing the process. This is when your mind and body have fully processed your thoughts and feelings about that situation. This is when your brain is going to let you know that you are ready to go forward.

When you have the capacity to experience any negative emotions, you will also have the same extent of potential to feel any positive emotions. This journey of the human experience, painted with different shades of emotions, is more unique, colorful and exciting.