It’s Ok Not To Do Everything

One of my coaching clients shared with me that she had a full to-do list for practically every day in the past week, but she felt tired and exhausted. She was not able to complete some of the tasks listed. She was comparing herself to her younger self 20 years ago. She thought that she was supposed to be able to do all the things and not feel tired.

My client, in her 40s, chose (by default) to think that she should be able to do the same things in the same efficient manner as when she was in her 20s. While we get to choose to think how old we are compared to the chronological age, we might as well choose one that makes us feel better about ourselves.

If you are consistently feeling exhausted doing what you doing during the day, there are several things to explore.

Is it possible that you have listed things to do which will take most normal human beings more than 24 hours to complete? Are you taking into account of some break time for yourself? Are you putting in time for unexpected things to happen which may interrupt your normal flow?

It is essential to prioritize what to do first. Remind yourself what goal you want to achieve, and what items on your list are most likely to achieve that goal. Do those things first.

Do not be a slave to your to-do list. It is not a “do or die” list. It is simply a guide you make for yourself to keep you organized and productive. Be flexible. If you did try your best and do your best but still could not finish the listed tasks, examine what you can learn from your day.

Give yourself grace. It is normal to be less energetic than your younger self. It is alright to accept that our physiologic body is not the same. Just like a 20-year-old car engine compared to a brand new car. The older car runs fine. It just needs more maintenance and tuning up. It is okay not to have completed all the things you listed to do. Look back and you see 17 out of 25 things completed. You put in the effort. Celebrate the wins. That is 17 more things you have done. Then set your focus to another good day to do your tasks.

Are you planning time in your day to take care of yourself? For a busy person running around in the fastest pace possible to complete as many tasks as possible, self-care may seem to be the least important thing. It also takes up time. Taking care of yourself does not mean that you have to spend much time in a spa or meditate for hours. It may just be a few minutes of practicing mindfulness, 20 minutes of exercise, 5 minutes of meditation and 10 minutes of reading. Or you can choose to start with one thing first and build on to it. The better you care for yourself, the more capacity you have to take care of other things and other people.

Be nice to yourself. You are doing the best that you can. You are learning from your experiences. You are prioritizing things to do. You are flexible. It is okay not to do everything on your to-do it.