I'm Good Enough

Recently I joined a physician business coaching group. I want to be part of a community of like-minded people, to be in a supportive and uplifting environment. I have decided to be fully engaged in the group, to do the assignments, and to offer helpful tips whenever I can.

When I think of being all in, I feel energized and committed. I start to interact with the community. My heart is full of love and support. I am not avoiding any interaction, and not afraid to show up.

Then comes the thought, I’m not good enough. What does that even mean? Not good enough for what? Not good enough to be part of the group? Does this thought creep up on you at different times or in different situations?

Let me dig a little deeper. If I think that I am not good enough for the coaching group, then I feel inadequate, inferior, and unsure of myself. What follows is that I will think what I am doing here, why I even bother to join the group. These leads to brain shut down. The brain is closing up shop and decides that it is done. No work is being done related to the class or the group.

No action is equivalent to quitting ahead of time. Why does this happen?

The self-judge in us is very strong. It is inside our brains to keep us safe. In my situation, the judge within me is to keep me safe – safe from harm’s way of doing new things, exploring new territories. If I feel inadequate, then taking action will probably be too much to handle. This default safety mechanism worked well in the primitive world, when trying new things might kill me.

Instead of being stuck with thinking I’m not good enough, let me focus on the question: How am I good enough?

This reframing unearths the curious mind. In this particular situation, the bare minimum requirement to be in the coaching group is to apply and pay for it. Everyone in the group satisfied those basic conditions.

In essence, “I’m not good enough” is non-sense. This applies to most situations we face in life.

To give the spotlight on how I am good enough, the curiosity part of the brain is activated, looking for clues to support this idea. I am born to be good enough. We are all born to be good enough. No matter what physical flaws or mental variations we each have, we are good enough. Simply being me is good enough.

I am afraid and I show up anyway. I remember the very first time when I was in charge to run a code for a patient with cardiac arrest. No one else could take over the lead. I was nervous, scared that I would mess up the sequence or the drugs to give. I did it anyway. My team was very supportive, and for the most part, they knew what to do. By showing up, I got to learn more, to practice more, and to make a skill more like a second nature. This applies to showing up when I am scared. The more times I show up even though I am a nervous wreck, the more comfortable I get to be in discomfort.

Decide ahead of time how you want to show up. Be aware of the mental chatter, dominated by the sneaky judge in you. You are good enough no matter what.