How To Harness Self-doubt

My coach asked me the other night what my three least favorite emotions were. Without hesitation, I announced feeling “frustrated, stressed and angry”, in that order. Then she asked me which emotion slowed me down the most. I thought about it for a few seconds. No, not the three emotions which I just mentioned, but it was self-doubt.

Self-doubt is quite an interesting emotion and experience. Many of us equate self-doubt as a “bad” thing and we should overcome or get rid of it.

As I continued the discussion with my coach, self-doubt has actually more facets than I expected. Self-doubt does not exist in an absolute binary form. It is not all or nothing. This realization makes me question if it is always helpful to overcome self-doubt.

The opposite of self-doubt is self-confidence. Many people consider having self-confidence is a “good” thing, and that is something we should promote all the time.

Like many things in this world, self-doubt and self-confidence are not two separate forces. They actually exist and oscillate like a pendulum. There are times you feel more doubt, and other times you experience more confidence. The challenge is to find the happy medium.

When there is little to no self-doubt, you are likely to be full of confidence of yourself. You are so sure of what you are doing is right, such that you subconsciously closed the door to the room of improvement. You also are not ready to welcome criticism.

When there is too much self-doubt, you are likely stuck, paralyzed or at least slowed down. It stops you on the tracks. You are not sure if you are good enough to continue whatever journey you are on.

It is normal and common to have self-doubt. Everyone has experienced it at some point. You may choose to ignore it, but self-doubt will be with you as long as you are alive. So is self-confidence. Therefore, instead of focusing on how to overcome self-doubt, let us explore how to harness our self-doubt.

The art is to utilize just the right amount of self-doubt. Self-doubt itself is not a “bad” thing – it depends on how you balance it with self-confidence and what you do about it.

Self-doubt can be a helpful tool if you choose to use it. Self-doubt can make you humble. You get to be curious and ask questions to figure out how to learn and grow from your situation. You tend o be more open-minded to possibilities and solutions. You tend to be more open to anticipations and alternatives, instead of only expecting one outcome. The right amount of self-doubt actually helps you move forward and be a better version of yourself.

The first step to harnessing self-doubt is to recognize it. When you realize that you are experiencing self-doubt, acknowledge it and do not reject it. Self-doubt may not be a pleasant feeling, yet we oftentimes grow in discomfort.

Once you recognize and acknowledge self-doubt, take a pause and question yourself. Is the opinion generating the self-doubt helpful? Does it make you grow or does it hold you back? If it is holding you back, label it. Feel it – experience the sensation it generates in your body.

Be curious and open-minded to alternatives. What is another opinion or perspective to view the situation that you can believe in?

We as human beings are constantly learning and growing. Depending on the situation and on our thoughts about the situation, we can swing from one end to the other end on the self-doubt and self-confidence pendulum. The more self-awareness we have, the more we understand where on the pendulum we are swinging. Then we can decide how to harness self-doubt to grow.