Feeling Better as Physicians

Dr. C was sharing with me how there were so many things going on with her life, and she could barely handle everything. She works as a full-time physician. When she gets off work, she goes to visit her mother who has dementia and stage IV cancer. Dr. C feels like she just keeps going and going, and she has no time to breathe. Something always comes up. There are endless things to do. She feels as if she can never catch up. She feels that she is not fully connecting with her patients because her mind is overflowing with thoughts about her mother and what she has to do for the rest of the day.

As physicians, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. The workload is heavy. Especially when your practice is understaffed, you are doing more than what you expect. At the same time, you are expected to take care of your family – this is more so with women physicians. You may have a parent who is ill, or children with different activities after school, or both. Oftentimes, with the challenges in charting efficiency, administrative duties and other obligations, your full-time job has become more like 1.5 jobs in addition to tending to your family.

When you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, physically or emotionally drained, and think that there is too much to handle, explore what the main source or two main sources of your stressors are. For physicians, the most common sources are unexpected and chronically high workload, and family – from health to interpersonal relationships to difference in opinions among family members.

Acknowledge your feelings. Yes, they are not pleasant. And yes, avoiding or fleeing from them does not make those feelings go away. Face them front and center.

A lot of times it comes down to believing that you do not have time for yourself. You are busy taking care of your sick patients, making sure their care is seamless, while taking care of all the laundry, dishes, car rides for children, or bringing your parent to see the doctor. This is exactly the time for you to make time for yourself. When you intentionally make yourself a priority and schedule in a time to pause, you will have that time to yourself.

Another physician, Dr. L, shared with me that she felt so overwhelmed from the hospital duty that she needed a break. She decided to tune out for an hour. She put her headphones on, she did not answer any phone calls and did not check any messages. She simply closed her eyes and rested. After that one hour, she found herself more energized and was able to finish her notes faster than she normally would.

Taking time for yourself is a vital part of your well-being. Taking a break regularly allows you to recharge physically and mentally. That is also why a good night’s sleep is an important component of how you feel. When you have a good quality night’s sleep, you wake up more energized and refreshed. You are more equipped to face life’s challenges and obstacles.

Control what you can control. There are things that we have no control of, no matter how hard we try, and that is ok. That is part of life. When you accept that, you will have less stress because you are not making futile attempts to do some impossible things. When a particular situation comes, you analyze the facts and see what you can do about it.

When you help others win, you win too. When you help other physicians to feel better, you will feel better too. For example, you can show your fellow physician friends how you appreciate them. You can choose to tell them what you are grateful for about them, send them a note or give them a gift. Another way to appreciate your physician friends is to help them set and adhere to some boundaries. For example, avoid calling your physician friend after hours on a work-related matter, unless it is absolutely urgent.

If you want to feel better, it is important to know how you are feeling and what is causing you to feel that way. Face your feelings instead of avoiding them, even though they are not pleasant. When you know how you feel, then you get to decide how you want to feel. Feeling content, joyful or stress-free may be somewhat far-fetched for you right now, and that is ok. You get to decide. You get to decide what to feel that is better, that is a possible feeling for you to achieve at present.

If you choose to feel neutral instead stressed out, that is alright. That is a good start. That is the direction of feeling better. What thought do you choose to have to make you feel neutral about your situation? You get to decide.

Knowing how you feel and what you are thinking are essential to getting yourself to feeling better. When you understand yourself, you get to decide what you want to feel. When you have difficulty in feeling better, do not hesitate to reach out for help. Sometimes it may just be a simple suggestion, sometimes it may be a longer discussion. Sometimes all you need is someone to listen to you. Whatever it is, feeling better is available to you, no matter what your circumstances are.