Caring For The Patient With Many Questions

Ava (not her real name) went to my office for the first time. She was newly diagnosed with breast cancer. As I was entering the room, the atmosphere was tense. She appeared anxious.

I smiled and introduced myself, sat down, and asked how she was doing. Ava informed me that she was nervous and did not know what to expect or what I would tell her. We discussed her diagnosis, prognosis and treatment plan. During the discussion, she asked questions, more questions than I expected from a patient with a similar diagnosis.

In the past, when a situation like this happened, what came to mind was questioning why the patient had so many questions. In other words, I was thinking that the patient should not have had that many questions – it was a straight forward diagnosis and the treatment recommendation was according to the national guidelines. Another more pressing thought was that the clock was ticking. I was already running behind and the next patient was waiting. Then I started to question myself – was I the problem, was I not explaining well enough – which became the question whether I was a good physician.

That was the past. The busy schedule, the burden of the administrative duties and the long hours of work – those were so heavy on me that I forgot why I went into medicine in the first place – to take care of patients so that they could be better, physically and emotionally. Now that I have learned to be mindful of my thoughts and have become more efficient at work, I am able to go back to my core values.

Ava’s questioning does not mean I am incapable. Other patients who are asking many questions does not make you incompetent or unworthy. You are amazing and you are worthy no matter what. You do not have to do something to prove yourself worthy. The worthiness lies in what you think of yourself.

Get to the bottom of it. Why is that patient asking so many questions? Instead of being judgmental about it, understand the situation from the patient’s point of view. Is the patient anxious because they are scared? Are they scared of the diagnosis, the potential discomfort from adverse effects of the treatment, or wondering if they are doing the right thing? Maybe they need some reassurance. Maybe they want the connection with you so that they are comforted by your presence.

Offer the patients kindness. We are here to help and to serve. Be open to listen to what they are saying. It is important to pay attention to the unspoken language. Is the patient being open or close about sharing? What is the patient trying to tell you without saying it out loud? When you have the patience and the attention to offer the patient, they are going to tell you more sooner because they are feeling seen and heard. They are starting to think that they can trust you and rely on you.

All these can be done while being mindful of the time. It is important to accept that there will always be patients who need more time with you. You are flexible and you are ready to also take good care of other patients efficiently without compromising the quality of your care. Taking care of the patient who asks a lot of questions does not mean you have to spend hours with the patient. Do your best to listen, develop a good relationship with the patient and be to the point.

If the patient is still not satisfied, it is alright. You have done your best. We are all human beings with different personalities, and we connect with each person differently. It does not make you a bad physician. Allow the patient to seek another opinion. Sometimes it may be that the patient already made up their mind about an answer they wanted to hear and you did not give them the same response. Sometimes it is a personality compatibility. No matter what the reason is, give room for the patient to choose who they are comfortable with.