Are You Kind To Yourself?

When I was growing up, I told myself a lot of things. Before age 10, I told myself that I could be anything I wanted to be. I could be the best at whatever I wanted to do. Fast forward to pre-teen and teen years, there were new messages in my brain, telling me that I had limitations. Someone else was better at that. I was not good enough. Only a few limited people could be extraordinary and I was not going to be one of them. I had a set path, I was to stay in my lane, and that was it.

When someone gave me a compliment, I did not know what to do with it. I was taught to be humble and any compliment coming my way should be received as, “oh, that’s not true” or “you are too kind”. Deflection of any compliment was a way to show humility and not to boast about myself, so I was taught. Essentially, that practice I adhered way into my adult years. I bought into the belief that if I acknowledged any compliments and considered myself to be as good as the compliments implied, I would become too complacent or proud. That I would be happy to stay at the same spot and not work hard to improve. I was basically telling myself that I did not deserve any praise.

Does that sound like you?

Would you do this to your best friend? Would you tell him or her that those very things, about how they were not good enough, they were expected to be ordinary, that they did not deserve to accept any compliment?

If you will not talk to your best friend like that, why would you talk to yourself like that? Why are you so harsh on yourself?

While most of us were taught to be kind to others, many of us were not taught to be kind to ourselves. Some of you were probably taught to always push yourself to the limit and kindness was supposed to manifest outward and not within yourself.

What does it do to you when you are not kind to yourself? You tend to come up with a standard for yourself to meet, and if you don’t reach that mark, you are mad at yourself. You are saying unpleasant things to yourself. You are not having compassion for you. You are not thinking you are worthy.

There is nothing wrong to be kind to yourself. In fact, it is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. Being kind to yourself is letting you know that you are loved. Being kind to yourself is celebrating your wins. Being kind to yourself is acknowledging that you are doing the best that you can at the time.

Being kind to yourself is to say complimentary, encouraging and loving things to yourself. Treat yourself as if you would treat others.

Being kind to yourself is to be loving even when you do not achieve your goal. Or if some unexpected adverse outcome occurs. Or if someone is mean to you.

Being kind to yourself is loving you no matter what.

Are you kind to yourself?