Acknowledging Unpleasant Feelings

What are your three most common unpleasant emotions? What do you do about them?

Many people try to avoid their unpleasant emotions. Unpleasant, simply put, does not feel good. Some people try to ignore their unpleasant feelings. They make believe that those negative or unpleasant emotions do not exist. Or they talk their way out of their existence.

Other people try to fight against their unpleasant feelings, as if they are the enemy. Enemies do not co-exist. The problem with negative emotions is that, the more you resist, the more you fight against them, the stronger they come back to haunt you, to entangle you.

It is not helpful to ignore what is part of us. It is also useless to try to get rid of something that has already been part of us since birth. The neglect, suppression and resistance of unpleasant feelings may cause conflict within us. This is where stress starts to form. You may detect physical signs and symptoms of stress, such as palpitations, shortness of breath, unexplained muscle aches and pains, insomnia and panic attacks.

Instead of ignoring or suppressing your unpleasant feelings, acknowledge them. As long as we live, the unpleasant emotions will exist. The best way to cope with unpleasant feelings is to get to know them. Explore within you. Why are those feelings here? What are you thinking that caused those emotions?

Let those unpleasant emotions sit in the car with you, going for a joy ride (of life). Chat with them. You do not have to agree with them, but get to know them well. Explore what the thought is behind each of the unpleasant emotions.

The whole spectrum of emotions can fit inside your car and take the joy ride with you – if you can find them all. As most of us are not taught to truly experience our emotions, we may have some difficulty in describing how we feel. Examine within us, without any judgment. For each unpleasant feeling, identify the main sentence in your head that is causing that feeling. The exploration will create more clarity and a path to allow the unpleasant emotions to coexist within you. This is also the start of healing from the emotional injury.

You get to heal you by allowing the unpleasant feelings and find out the thoughts behind them. Emotional well being is to let you experience both positive and negative emotions. The more you practice doing it, the better you will be.

Acknowledging and allowing the unpleasant feelings to coexist in you is to give yourself the permission to have the full spectrum of human experience. When you accept the unpleasant feeling and let yourself process it, without avoiding or reacting, you open up the horizon to experience the feeling from the opposite end of the spectrum. For example, if you acknowledge and allow yourself to experience discouragement, you will also find what makes you feel encouraged.

Give yourself the permission to rest after you experience and process an unpleasant feeling. Release all the tension you are harboring, physically and mentally. You get to grow emotionally and find meaning in life. You get to gain clarity. As your emotional muscle is getting stronger, you are better equipped at dealing with life’s unexpected surprises with acceptance, courage and grace.